Still Standing – craftyorganisedme

I wondered for a little while how to start this post, should I launch straight in to what I want to say or explain a little bit about my lack of posts.

Life is just busy, parenting, working, living, all these things keep me busy, so I’m not going to go too much in to detail. Besides I did that in a post I wrote a few months ago.

I shared via my Facebook page my first story as a contributor for Still Standing magazine in July this year, titled Remembering my Son , but my second article posted in August wasn’t shared, I just didn’t get around to it. This week, the 9th-15th October is Baby loss awareness week. This is a recognised worldwide and concludes with a Wave of Light ceremony at 7pm on the 15th October. The thought behind it is, where ever in the world you live when it is 7pm you light a candle in memory of your baby or the babies that are gone to soon, and let it burn for at least an hour.

Due to time zones throughout the world, a ‘Wave of Light’ is creating around the globe, pretty cool huh? Most Sands groups throughout New Zealand organise a Wave of Light ceremony, which the public can then go to. If you choose not to, you can always light a candle at home.

The main point of this post is to share with you the post I wrote for Still Standing magazine in August, titled How My Support Group Saved Me.

I have another post which will be live on the Still Standing magazine website in the next few weeks, plus one in November and another in December. Having an outlet to share mty grief is really good.

Thanks for reading,

Stacey xxxx

Sunday May 8th is Mothers Day in New Zealand, Australia (where some amazing Mumma’s live!) as well as several other countries. The day to awknowledge our special Mum’s and thank them for everyone they have done and continue to do for us. This day has always been a day I haven’t forgotten (memory of an elephant over here!) and now I am a Mum myself it is even more significant.

Unfortunately Mothers Day isn’t always a joyous event, it ends up being another day we would rather just forget about.

Mothers Day 2011, I was pregnant with our firstborn, dear Alex. I remember working that day and a few people mentioned to me, that Mothers Day next year would be my first Mothers Day because my baby would be here. Apparently, some people thought being obviously pregnant means you aren’t a Mother yet or deserve a Mothers Day. At the time I didn’t think anything of it, why would I? I would have my baby next year to celebrate being a Mummy with.

Moving on to Mothers Day 2012. I was heavily pregnant with my second baby, (with our soon to be four year old daughter). This Mothers Day officially sucked arse! I was angry and sad my baby wasn’t in my arms. I knew I was a Mother but I thought back to the comments I had the previous year, this WAS supposed to be my ‘first’ Mothers Day. Instead, I was blessed to be pregnancy but also mourning the loss of my boy. I remember my thoughts drifted to “Why me? Why my baby? And would I be able to celebrate Mothers Day next year?”

You are probably wondering what it the point of this blog post? Well, for me I look forward to Mothers Day, as I’m sure most Mothers do, but I also dread it. As my boy’s fifth anniversary looms next month I find myself thinking about him more and more as the day comes closer. And sadly Mothers Day is another reminder that I have three children but only two to wrap my arms around.

Mothers Day can be incredibly difficult for Mothers that have lost children or are yet to have living children and of course those that do not have their mother around to share the day with.

Some women will choose to ignore this day and want to hide away from the world and that is fine, but please remember you are a Mother, this beautiful quote from Franchesca Cox sums up exactly how I and some others Mum’s feel

“A Mother is not defined by the number of children you can see, but by the love she holds in her heart”