June

The month of June, I look forward to it but I also dread it. I love it but I also dislike it.

June marks the half way point of the year, and dare I say it, only another six months until Christmas, eek! June is also the beginning of summer in England and the beginning of winter in New Zealand. Living in New Zealand now for just over 12 years I am well adjusted to the seasons here, but June will always be a summer month to me.
I celebrate and remember some pretty special people during this month. The first week of June, it is one of my younger brothers birthday and Little Misses birthday. (I still remember the same brother saying to me shortly before I had Little Miss that I wasn’t too have her on his birthday, as it was his day). Brothers huh?

June 2nd 2011 was the day my beloved Grandpa passed away, he lived for 97 years, pretty good innings huh? And the 3rd June 2011 was the day I delivered our beloved, firstborn baby boy Alex.

This year marked five years since we met him and said goodbye to him. Wow, five years, it’s quite a milestone huh? The build up to the day was harder that the actual day itself, it always is. I had the day planned, I knew how we would celebrate his day and we did.

It is a day to remember him, but of course it is also a day to celebrate. I miss him everyday, and often find my mind wandering at different times of the day, what would he look like, what would he enjoy? What would he have liked for his fifth birthday?

A few days leading up to his birthday I explained to Little Miss that we would be having a family day for Alex’s birthday. Mummy and Daddy would not be going to work and the four of us would have a day of fun. Little Miss decided Chipmunks would be a great idea (indoor soft play venue), followed by cupcakes for afternoon tea and a trip to the cemetery with Nana and Grandad (my Husband’s parents) to do our balloon release.

When I was having this conversation with Little Miss, one evening after dinner, she looked at me and said “But Mummy, Alex is supposed to go to school this year”. With these words I burst into tears. Just hearing these words from my daughter made the event seem more real. I hadn’t felt like crying prior to my chat with her, so the tears caught myself as well as her off guard. I guess with the lead up to the actual day, the tears were a form of release. Little Miss and I shared a hug and I explained to her that Alex couldn’t go to school because he lives with the stars, but he would be watching over her when it will be her and Mr Happy’s turn to venture off to school.

To us Alex is our shining star, we look to the sky at night and we can always see him. Little Miss will always point to one of the brightest stars and says it is Alex. For me and our family I feel it is really important to have a symbol we can look for and see and be able to think of our boy and big brother.

We had a lovely day remembering Alex and celebrating his fifth year. To me as hard as it is, his birthday is a celebration. He existed, he was and still is my first born baby. I think of him everyday, and these days I smile. It wasn’t always easy to smile but know I feel that I can.

Here are some of the photos from our day.

Mr Happy

Slide Fun

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Five Yummy Cupcakes

Beautiful Flowers 3 vases xxx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Balloon release

xxx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Project Doll House: Part Three

Welcome to Part Three of Project Dollhouse.

Little Miss is now four years old, she had her birthday this week. Wow, its crazy how quickly time flies. My husbands parents, along with her aunt and uncle gave her some furniture for the dolls house as a birthday present and lets just say, she was one happy girl.

It was no secret to her that I was working on a dolls house for her birthday, she would often look at it with pride whilst I was working it and never once asked to have it before her actual birthday.

I wanted to share some photos of the finishing touches I did. There are still some things I would like to add to the house, but to me it is work in progress and it is great to see Little Miss enjoying her dolls house.

I mentioned in Project Dollhouse: Part Two that I was going to attempt to make some curtains, well lets just say they didn’t go according to plan. I thought it would be relatively easy to hand sew them, but I was wrong. Luckily, a friend offered to loan me her sewing machine and then she offered to sew them for me. I took her up on the offer, and the curtains look FAB!

Awesome curtains. They are hanging on a bamboo skewer cut down to size and I used some 3M hooks to hang them up.

The paint featured in the room with the curtains is Sugar and Spice by Resene

I personally think the curtains look great and Little Miss is really pleased with them, I know just need to get something that I can use to pin back the curtains and something that is safe. Little Miss’s brother Mr Happy is 2 and he is also a fan of the house. Any ideas would be appreciated, I’m thinking Bakers Twine would be quite good, but then it could get lost and I’m not sure how Little Miss will get on having to tie them back all the time.

In my last blog post I shared photos of two completed rooms and I did day in this blog post I would share another couple of rooms, here they are:

Sugar and Spice

Perfume

I used the colour Perfume in two of the rooms as I thought it broke up the pinlk, plus I loved it!

As you can see on some of my photos, my painting is not the best and my lovely Father even commented that my finishing wasn’t the best. I will agree with him there. I know I’m not the best painter and I don’t pretent to be. At the end of the day I was painting the doll house for Little Miss and I’m sure she isn’t going to criticize my painting skills. So there were quite a few pait marks on the floor, but I didn’t mind as I knew I would be covering it.

At first I thought about putting scarpabook paper onto the floor, I had a few papers that could easiely pass for flooring. I tried them out and didn’t like it. I then thought of carpet, but decided against it as I thought it would be too bulky and I thought the dolls and the furniture wouldn’t sit nicely. Also, I knew Little Miss would get highly frustrated if her doll house accessories would fall over! so, I then thought about felt after someone suggested it.

I don’t have any felt at home so I had to hit the art and craft shops. I immediately thought of black, but when I looked at it I just knew it would be too dark. After looking at the other colours I decided on white. And I reckon it looks perfect. I bought half a metre as it was cheaper and I had enough for the four rooms plus the loft room and I had a little left over. I used superglue to stick it down, after it had dried the ends started to lift so I used double sided tape to stick it down. And now it looks perfect and even looks like real carpet.

White felt as carpet, before I used double sided tape.

Can you see on the photo that there is also some black and white washi tape covering the edges?! More on that next time.

I think I will save a more on the doll house for a fourth and final post Project Dollhouse: Part Four.

I will leave you with a few photos of some of the interiors, I used some of the cute dollhouse decor from Luluncat

Planter, Rug, Lego man and Wall hanging from Luluncat

Table accessories from Luluncat

 

Me and Mrs C

A little while ago I shared a blog called Dear Mrs C this post was about me using antidepressants to treat my Post Natal Depression (PND). Shortly after I wrote and shared the post, I made an appointment to see my GP to renew my prescription and to discuss reducing my current dose.

I had been thinking for a while about reducing the dose, I felt the time was right. I had been in a good place for several months and I know when I have my low moments that everything will be ok. I was also worried about any withdrawals I could possibly experience due to the decrease in dosage and I wanted to limit them as much as I could.

I still get overwhelmed at times, with parenting, work, being a wife but who doesn’t? I do however feel I am in a much better frame of mind these days, but I still have my ‘bad’ days. You can do it, Stacey I told myself.

When I saw my GP, I explained how I had been feeling and other things I was doing to maintain a healthy balance in my life. I told him how I like to go to work and feel like ‘Stacey’ and not just a ‘Mummy’. And I really enjoy my time with my children,  also I no longer have the overwhelming feelings of wanting to leave my husband and children. Anyone who has experienced this feeling or is feeling like this, it well and truly SUCKS! Feeling like a failure, and wanting to turn your back on your family you are a part of is very lonely, I never want to feel like that again. At the time I never realised how low I got, I think I hid it quite well at times.

My GP was really good and we both agreed that it was a good time to reduce my dose, by half a tablet. I now take 30mg, one and a half tablets once a day in the morning. My GP explained he would like me to continue on this reduced dose for six months before decreasing any further. I thought this was a really good plan, it would prevent any withdrawals and hopefully help me to remain in a good place.

I started writing this blog post at the end of March and now here I am almost at the end of May. I am due another trip to the doctors for a repeat prescription, it has almost been three months since I reduced my antidepressant and I can say it has been going really well. Phew!

It is so good to write about being in a good place, happy, calm (well relatively calm, my hubby tells me I worry too much!) and to feel like I enjoy my life. I love being a Mum and Wife and I hope I am a better friend and person to those people who know me.

I look back on last year and even the year before and I know now that I wasn’t always in the best frame of mind and I wasn’t really living, but existing.

Me and Mr Happy April 2016

Enjoying my children, something that had previously seemed so, so hard

 

It is so healing for me to look at these photos of myself with my children and know the smile is ‘real’ and not forced. Although like I said, there are some days when the smile is harder to achieve,but the good days are by far outweighing the bad days.

When I saw this ‘Winning’ tank avaliable through TheHood I just knew ut would be perfect for me. I love their collection of T Shirts and Sweaters which sum up Mum Life.

Aus$ 34.99

‘Winning’

Thanks for reading and letting me share, take care xxx

NB: I purchased the ‘Winning’ tank for myself and my opinion is all my own, I love it!

 

 

 

Project Dollhouse: Part One

Little Miss turns 4 next month, yes 4, I cannot believe it. My baby girl only has another year before starting school.

She may seem at times that she is 3 going on 13 but, oh my what a fun age three has been and heres to many more adventures with her as a four year old.

Project Dollhouse:

A little while ago I shared a photo on Instagram of a dolls house I bought off a friend, that I was intending to ‘do it up’ in time for Little Miss turning 4 at the beginning of June. Little Miss LOVES a dolls house. I have observered her play with one at playcentre, as well as ones that have been at her friends house. I just know this gift will be perfect for her.

Before shot, I wasn’t keen on the wallpaper, so off it came.

After a coat of undercoat, luckily we had a tin in our garage!

Unfortunately due to the size of our home (and the dolls house) I have been unable to hide it from her. She is aware it is for her birthday and appears to be happy to wait for that day so she can play with it.

I immediately went into ‘planning’ mode. I decided I would paint some of the walls, making it pink and girly, as I know Little Miss would love that. I was also keen to use some of my scrapbook papers (I have a decent collection!) to decorate the walls and maybe the floors?

I thought it would be good to keep the roof dark, maybe black????? Which lead me to think of black chalkboard paint……..

I like the idea that she can make the dolls house her own. Draw pictures, patterns on the roof to really personalise her house.

When it came to painting the rooms I decided that test pots were the best way to go. I bought a tin of the black chalkboard paint and four test pots from Resene

The four colours I chose were

• Shocking a cool pastel violet pink colour
• Wham this colour is a lot brighter than it shows on the website, a very cool green
• Perfume this colour reminds me of Sofia the First!
• Sugar and Spice I thought a shimmery paint would be really cool

Top: Sugar and Spice Centre: Shocking Bottom: Perfume

I was spoilt for choice, so I just decided to go for girlie colours I knew Little Miss would love and I picked a green because I thought I needed to break up the pink!

All ready to paint

 

Making a start

Firsty I found some white undercoat in our garage (from a project a few years ago) and painted the whole house with it, just one coat.

I then painted the roof in the chalkboard black paint and the outside of the house pink. I decided I would make each room a little different, more on that next time.

Progress shots

Progress……

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If anyone has any tips/tricks or suggestions I would love to hear them.

Friday Favourites

Have you heard of Friday Favourites?????

This has been running since February of this year. I linked my recent post from last weekend Mothers Day

 

 

Mothers Day

Sunday May 8th is Mothers Day in New Zealand, Australia (where some amazing Mumma’s live!) as well as several other countries. The day to awknowledge our special Mum’s and thank them for everyone they have done and continue to do for us. This day has always been a day I haven’t forgotten (memory of an elephant over here!) and now I am a Mum myself it is even more significant.

Unfortunately Mothers Day isn’t always a joyous event, it ends up being another day we would rather just forget about.

Mothers Day 2011, I was pregnant with our firstborn, dear Alex. I remember working that day and a few people mentioned to me, that Mothers Day next year would be my first Mothers Day because my baby would be here. Apparently, some people thought being obviously pregnant means you aren’t a Mother yet or deserve a Mothers Day. At the time I didn’t think anything of it, why would I? I would have my baby next year to celebrate being a Mummy with.

Moving on to Mothers Day 2012. I was heavily pregnant with my second baby, (with our soon to be four year old daughter). This Mothers Day officially sucked arse! I was angry and sad my baby wasn’t in my arms. I knew I was a Mother but I thought back to the comments I had the previous year, this WAS supposed to be my ‘first’ Mothers Day. Instead, I was blessed to be pregnancy but also mourning the loss of my boy. I remember my thoughts drifted to “Why me? Why my baby? And would I be able to celebrate Mothers Day next year?”

You are probably wondering what it the point of this blog post? Well, for me I look forward to Mothers Day, as I’m sure most Mothers do, but I also dread it. As my boy’s fifth anniversary looms next month I find myself thinking about him more and more as the day comes closer. And sadly Mothers Day is another reminder that I have three children but only two to wrap my arms around.

Mothers Day can be incredibly difficult for Mothers that have lost children or are yet to have living children and of course those that do not have their mother around to share the day with.

Some women will choose to ignore this day and want to hide away from the world and that is fine, but please remember you are a Mother, this beautiful quote from Franchesca Cox sums up exactly how I and some others Mum’s feel

“A Mother is not defined by the number of children you can see, but by the love she holds in her heart”

My beautiful ‘Queen Mum’ mug from Sands New Plymouth xxx

 

This is an awesome article by Lexi Behrndt of Scribbles and Crumbs

7 Ways To Remember the Hurting Mothers This Mother’s Day

Please be kind to yourself  on this day if it is particulary hard for you, sending love and hugs dear Mumma.

Loss: Part Four- Wonderful Mama

This a post I wrote for Emma Stewart of Wonderful Mama in November 2015.

Emma was asking for Women to share stories of Baby Loss.

I was able to share my story of the loss of Alex

• Feelings at the time
• Reflection
• Advice to Others

My hope is that no has to experince the devasting loss of a baby/child. I write about my loss as it is my therapy of working through my grief and if my story was read by another ad helped them than I hope it helps.

Loss: Part Four

Much Love

Stacey xxxx

Guest Blog post: Mama Love Magazine

A little while ago, Leigh from Mama Love Magazine was looking for writers to share stories about Motherhood and tales of Inspiring and amazing women. The posts are titled ‘Tales From The Hood’.

I got in contact with Leigh and I told her about my blog, my passion for writing and hopefully helping others through my experiences.

I was asked to write a piece on my experience and my feelings after I lost Alex in 2011. To begin with I actually found it really hard to write what I wanted to say, and for the first time I experienced a touch of writers block!

In the end the words flowed and it all came together.

I have since reread the piece several times since it posted on the Mama Love Magazine website and I am so, so proud. I actually think this is one of my favourite pieces of writing.

Stacey xxx

After The Loss Of Alex- Mama Love Magazine

 

 

 

Dear Mrs C

Antidepressants, oh no she said that word! Yep that’s right, I said it, Antidepressants, (in case you didn’t catch it the first time). I take one daily, well actually I take two, (yep two!) in the morning with my breakfast. If my 3.5 year old asks me what I am taking I just reply ‘Mummy’s happy pills’. I don’t feel a girl of her age needs to be told antidepressant, to me they are my happy pills, they have made me genuinely happier. When my daughter is old enough I will explain to her a little more about them.

I thought I would write a letter to give others a little insight into what it has been like for me, over a year ago that I began taking anitdepressants for PND. I’m a big believer in removing the stigma around PND, I am not ashamed, I am proud to share my story.

 

Dear Mrs C

We had a love/hate relationship at the beginning, but now I write this letter to you, as a thank you.

I wasn’t very keen to introduce myself to you, I thought I could get better without you. But you have proven to me that I did indeed make the right decision.

At the beginning it was dreadful, I felt worse before I felt better. Was it worth it feeling the way I did? A few of the side effects I felt were nausea, increased anxiety, feeling disconnected to people around me and wanting to hide away from the world. Slowly but surely, over a month I felt better. I wanted to get out of bed in the morning, I wanted to see people and most importantly I wanted to be a mother to my kids and a wife to my husband again. Finally, we were getting along, you were helping me be me.

Yes our first month together was incredibly tough and I nearly told you to kindly F*** off as you weren’t working, but like most things that are tough and haven’t been done before, it will often seem worse before it gets better.

I knew the way I had been secretly feeling for months and months, no one else really knew, even I didn’t know as most days I put on my brave, happy smiley face, BUT anything had to be better than the way I was feeling. Thanks to you Mrs C, you helped me see through the fog that was distorting my vision and weighing down on my shoulders. Your support has given me the much needed clarity to see through that pesky fog and begin to bulid my life again.

We have been in an relationship for just over a year now, I’d hoped to have ended my relationship with you by now, but I’m not quite ready. And you know what, I think that is ok. I will ease out of my relationship with you when I feel ready, I will not be hasty, after all it was not an easy decision to make in the beginning.

So thanks Mrs C, you are pretty awesome!

Xxxxxx

Little Miss

Mr Happy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is just my opinion on taking antidpressants. I feel my PND is currently managed and I am in control of it. Along with taking an antidepressant I have also sought help from a counsellor, friends and my parents as well as my incredibly patient and loving husband, and my beautiful children.

I have still had some bumps in the road, antidepressants are not a quick fix and not for everyone. I just wanted to share my own personal experience of taking one.

If you or someone you know is struggling please help them to seek help. Having PND or any form of depression is not shameful, please speak up there os plenty of help and support out there.

Hubby and I

I’m a #nofiltermum thanks to TheHood

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Let me introduce……Clever Poppy

I discovered Clever Poppy on Instagram, I’m just a tad obsessed with Instagram. (I’m sure some of you can understand the obsession!?)

One day, I was just looking through the search option, (this is a great option to look through if you want more people to follow on Instagram, you can see what others are posting) and I stumbled across Clever Poppys DIY Kit- Easy Watercolour Art. I thought the finish of the work was really lovely and looked like it wouldn’t be too tricky. I love arty crafty things, as some of you may know (hence my blog name), I’m all about the craft. I have too many craft supplies, (so my husband says) but I dont think you can ever have too many?!

The main thing that caught my attention about the DIY art kit is it is something that can be done with kids. My Little Miss, just loves crafty things. And I really like to be able to do things that include both of us.

 

Julie is the lovely lady behind Clever Poppy, I sent her some questions, and here are her answers.

Can you tell my readers a little bit about Clever Poppy, how did you come up the name and a little about yourself:
I have always been passionate about DIY projects and have made many I love over the years. I recently noticed that DIY projects were becoming quite popular in mainstream media, but while most people love the idea, they don’t have the time spare to get sorted to make projects of their own. So I created Clever Poppy to make it easy for people to experience the fun of creating something beautiful for their home. I studied law and graphic design at uni -wish now I had chosen something in the arts field! After practicing commercial law for 4 years and pretty much hating every minute of it, I finally got the courage to completely change tack and moved into a brand experience / promotions agency. I did that for 3 years and learnt a hell of a lot about marketing and project management, and realised how much happier I was doing something creative. Then I went on maternity leave to have our little man Harvey. While I was on leave I gained a lot of perspective and realised I just had to follow my dreams and start my own business doing what I love. I still work part time in promotions but my main focus is Clever Poppy and this will hopefully become full time down the track. Very exciting and I’m loving every minute so far!!

Do you sell your kits anywhere or just on the Internet? 

At the moment I only sell online, but I’m looking into getting them into stores next year. She did feature in some markets in Auckland leading up to Christmas, lucky Auckland!

How long have you been doing Clever Poppy?

I launched Clever Poppy on 7th August 2015, so it hasn’t been very long! I can’t believe that, it feels like I’ve been doing this for a lot longer, but I guess if you take into account all the planning and prep then it all kicked off in March last year.

Where do you hope to see the business in a few years time?

I would love to be New Zealand’s go-to brands for creative DIY projects! I’ve love to have a variety of kits for sale on my website and in stores nationwide. I also would love to do more freelance work developing DIY projects for third parties.

Do you have a favourite DIY kit? 

My DIY Cooper Magazine Rack for sure.

What’s next for Clever Poppy? Are you able to share what you are planning on doing next?

At the moment my focus is on getting the Clever Poppy brand and concept into the marketplace, and testing various kits to see what gets people excited. Next year (now this year 2016) I’d like to focus on developing kits for wholesale, so you can find me in shops around the country. I’m also working on some freelance project where I am developing DIY projects for third parties, so I’m very excited about where that might lead.

I purchased the DIY- Easy Watercolour Kit for $30, I was really keen to give it a go after seeing what others had created. I loved the idea that everything you needed was in the kit and it would be something that Little Miss would enjoy too. It was money well spent in my opinion.

After the white-out liquid has been applied

Before the white-out liquid

The kit includes: 5x Designs- ‘Young and Brave’, ‘Love you to the Moon and Back’, ‘Welcome to the Chaos’, ‘It’s cool to be Kind’ and ‘but first Champagne’

Watercolour paper, paintbrushes, watercolour paint palette, ‘magic’ white-out liquid and DIY wooden poster hanger as well as really clear instructions, with photos to assist you step-by-step. I needed to trace the design and apply the white-out liquid but once that had dried I gave Little Miss free reign to paint away.

When we did the ‘Welcome to the Chaos’ design, Little Miss applied pink and red paint and it looked lovely, but then she discovered the black paint! I really wanted to stop her, but I knew I just had to leave her to do what she wanted and in the end the result looked FAB! I used the wooden hanging poster kit to hang it up, and now it hangs in own home.

 

Little Miss with the lovely red and pink

The finished result!

 

I have now bought three kits by Clever Poppy and through following her on Instagram, Facebook and Pinterest you can keep up-to date with new kits she is either developing or has released. Julie also shares some great DIY ideas you can do at home with the kids or without them.

Just the other day Julie shared that she was looking to add more deisgns to the DIY- Easy Watercolour Kit, I cannot wait to see what deisgns she comes up with.