Me and Mrs C

A little while ago I shared a blog called Dear Mrs C this post was about me using antidepressants to treat my Post Natal Depression (PND). Shortly after I wrote and shared the post, I made an appointment to see my GP to renew my prescription and to discuss reducing my current dose.

I had been thinking for a while about reducing the dose, I felt the time was right. I had been in a good place for several months and I know when I have my low moments that everything will be ok. I was also worried about any withdrawals I could possibly experience due to the decrease in dosage and I wanted to limit them as much as I could.

I still get overwhelmed at times, with parenting, work, being a wife but who doesn’t? I do however feel I am in a much better frame of mind these days, but I still have my ‘bad’ days. You can do it, Stacey I told myself.

When I saw my GP, I explained how I had been feeling and other things I was doing to maintain a healthy balance in my life. I told him how I like to go to work and feel like ‘Stacey’ and not just a ‘Mummy’. And I really enjoy my time with my children,  also I no longer have the overwhelming feelings of wanting to leave my husband and children. Anyone who has experienced this feeling or is feeling like this, it well and truly SUCKS! Feeling like a failure, and wanting to turn your back on your family you are a part of is very lonely, I never want to feel like that again. At the time I never realised how low I got, I think I hid it quite well at times.

My GP was really good and we both agreed that it was a good time to reduce my dose, by half a tablet. I now take 30mg, one and a half tablets once a day in the morning. My GP explained he would like me to continue on this reduced dose for six months before decreasing any further. I thought this was a really good plan, it would prevent any withdrawals and hopefully help me to remain in a good place.

I started writing this blog post at the end of March and now here I am almost at the end of May. I am due another trip to the doctors for a repeat prescription, it has almost been three months since I reduced my antidepressant and I can say it has been going really well. Phew!

It is so good to write about being in a good place, happy, calm (well relatively calm, my hubby tells me I worry too much!) and to feel like I enjoy my life. I love being a Mum and Wife and I hope I am a better friend and person to those people who know me.

I look back on last year and even the year before and I know now that I wasn’t always in the best frame of mind and I wasn’t really living, but existing.

Me and Mr Happy April 2016

Enjoying my children, something that had previously seemed so, so hard

 

It is so healing for me to look at these photos of myself with my children and know the smile is ‘real’ and not forced. Although like I said, there are some days when the smile is harder to achieve,but the good days are by far outweighing the bad days.

When I saw this ‘Winning’ tank avaliable through TheHood I just knew ut would be perfect for me. I love their collection of T Shirts and Sweaters which sum up Mum Life.

Aus$ 34.99

‘Winning’

Thanks for reading and letting me share, take care xxx

NB: I purchased the ‘Winning’ tank for myself and my opinion is all my own, I love it!

 

 

 

#nofiltermum TheHood

Did you know that Postnatal Depression week has already been and gone for the year in New Zealand? It wasn’t that long ago,  31st October-8th November. I remember briefly seeing something about this, but am I right in thinking there wasn’t much awareness? Today is the last day of PND awareness week in Australia, 15th-21st November. As a big follower of Instagram and following other bloggers who write about their PND journey I have been made aware of TheHood. TheHood is an Australian website and they have designed some fab T shirts and sweaters, in conjunction with COPE- Centre Of Perinatal Excellence . From each sale of a T shirt and sweater a gold coin goes to COPE. The slogans on the clothing says #nofiltermum and #nofilter, check them out here.

TheHood

A little bit of information about TheHood has been put together by twin sisters, Rachel and Natasha Wells in July 2015. They are both mother, Rachel has a son and Natasha has three daughters. Since becoming Mothers they have realised that often its the little things, a text, a smile from a stranger that can really make a difference to a sleep deprived Mummy who is really struggling. Putting their skills and knowledge together, they have created some great tongue-in-cheek messages onto T shirts and sweaters. Rachel and Natasha feel that the motherhood journey should be shared, the good, the bad times and ugly bits.

I made contact with Rachel and shared with her my blog and my journey thought PND and how I found sharing has been helpful to me and hopefully others who read my posts. In her reply, Rachel gave me permission to share some information about TheHood in a blog post. Even though it has been PND awareness week in Australia, she like myself is passionate about sharing raising awareness of this illness.

Blog Post

Raising awareness around PND is very important to me, I AM one of the statistics. I’m not afraid to say I am a #nofiltermum,  No one should ever have to suffer and be on their own with this illness, it is an illness. I did not choose to have it and I would not wish it on anybody. To feel so alone, have thoughts that go round and round in your head all day long, like the song you heard on the radio that you just can’t get out of your head. With no break from these thoughts is exhausting and debilitating.

To question why I wanted to be a Mother has been one of my biggest struggles, to wake up and want to have nothing to do with your children is devastating. They are MY children, part of me, I nurtured them and brought them into the world. “I didn’t sign up for this”, would often be the question I would ask myself the most and “why me?, haven’t I been through enough during my motherhood journey”. I must be the only woman and mother who feels this way.

But I’m not alone, mothers are speaking up and sharing their stories, thank you ladies for making me feel a little less on my own as I fight this illness.

The thoughts are constant, even when I close my eyes at the end of the day, they are still there, round and round they go and you know when you wake in the morning you have to get up and start another day. The dread in my stomach, would forever be present, meaning I didn’t want to eat. You tell yourself that you should eat, but it takes to much energy to prepare anything, you find yourself reaching for anything that is ‘quick and easy’ or skip the meal altogether. And the lack of motivation to enjoy anything in your life has completely vanished, you no longer feel yourself. You are barely existing.

Just the other week my three year old daughter, reminded me of a time earlier this year I thought she would of had no idea about…….

My three year old daughter, walked out to the lounge at bedtime, I presumed it was for a goodnight cuddle and a kiss. We had our cuddle and a kiss and then she asked me if I was still sad? This completely threw me, I wondered where this had come from “Are you sad Mummy? One day you were sad and crying, when you were talking to Daddy?” I quickly wrecked my brain trying to recall the time she was talking about and then she said “remember Mummy you broke the glass and it went ‘smash’ all over the floor”, I then remembered the time she was talking about…..

It had been earlier this year in January, it was when I realised things were not right, I wasn’t ok, I had reached breaking point. I quickly assured my beautiful, caring daughter I was feeling much better and that Mummy was feeling happy, I took her back to her bedroom and tucked her in bed for the night. This brief conversation I had with her, has stayed with me. I don’t know if I will ever be able to forget it. I felt heartbroken that she remembered something that had happened over nine months ago, when she was still two. Have I messed this girl up, because she witnessed her Mummy having a breakdown. Thinking about it has made me realise my daughter and my son could remember things about their childhood. I would hate from them to remember their Mum being sad and crying all the time. But this is our reality as a family at the moment, but hopefully not forever.

Mr Happy

Family picnic pf fish and chips

Little Miss

 

I have been writing this post you have just read over several days this week and I have I been struggling. I have felt low and can not figure out why, a bump in the PND road I guess. Last night (Friday) was particularly bad. We were child free and decided on a movie night at home. Thoughts and feelings have been building up over gradually over the past week, but as usual I put on my happy face and face the world.  But last night, I exploded at my husband. I told him I was leaving, I needed to get away and it seemed the logical situation in my irrational brain. I was desperate, I had to get away quickly. I rang my Mum, I knew she would be wake in England, no reply, next my Dad. He answered the phone, I probably wasn’t making sense but he told me to skype him. I spent roughly about an hour talking to my Dad, he got it, he was there even though he was on the other side if the world. See my Dad has been married to my Mum for 36 years and he has lived through depression with her. Of course whilst I was growing up I was not aware of this, my parents did a damn good job at hiding Mum’s depression and Dad’s bankruptcy.

I went to bed last night feeling, a calmer, and so, so appreciative of my Dad, my Mum and my husband. I don’t want to leave my husband at all, and its awful when I feel that it is my only option. I also did something I have never been before. I took a selfie of me lying in bed, with puffy eyes from crying and I shared it on Instagram and this is what I said:

“This is me 5 mins ago about to go to sleep. I see on social media how brave people are about sharing their bad days, well this is me doing the same. It actually takes a lot of guts to do this. Sure I share on my blog about my pregnancy loss and PND journey but I don’t think I ever really show you the reality of it. This is me, blotchy eyes from crying for the past two hours, I told my husband I wanted to leave him. I thought I’d had enough of him but I’ve actually had enough of myself and my mind. I felt desperate and who did I call, my Dad. I spent a good while crying and chatting to him tonight. I now go to bed, feeling a lot of love for my Dad, my Mum and my husband who I do love and don’t want to leave. Thank you for letting me share, I hope to wake in the morning ready to face the day ahead”

November 20th 2015- Photo shared on Instagram

 

 

 

How I’m feeling

Sharing my journey with depression or what I refer to as ‘the fog’ several months ago, was incredibly hard. I debated sharing the post, how would people respond when I shared with friends, family and strangers how I had been feeling. I felt like I had let myself and those closest to me down. Would anyone want to read it? In the end, I did what felt right and I clicked on the ‘publish’ button.

The response was overwhelming and for that I am extremely grateful. Originally I wrote the post for me, I needed somewhere I could share my thoughts and feelings. But I found people sharing how they were and had been feeling too.

Generally life has been getting better and better, I feel most of the time I’m in a good place. I get out of bed in the morning and actually want to get up and I look forward to the day ahead (most of the time). My days with both my kids, (Little Miss and Mr Happy), can actually be fun, although we still have our challenging moments, I find I’m always looking for new and different things to do with them.

Mr Happy 19 months

Little Miss

Mr Happy 19 months

Of course the fog is always there, I accept that. It will probably be always there, hanging around and most definitely not welcome. But that’s ok. I feel more confident that I know, (at times) how to deal with the hours or days where I feel like running away. I have still been seeing my counsellor and this time it is almost a year since I started seeing her again. I’m pretty sure my next appointment with her is my last, and I’m kinda freaking out about it. Will I cope not having her to talk to every few weeks, will it send me backwards. When I next see her I will be sure to share my concerns. Has anyone else ever felt like this????? When I finished seeing her other times, I always felt ready. Does the way I’m feeling now mean I’m not ready? Or has seeing her become a part of life I’m not ready to part with? Ahhhhhh!!!!

Even though I’m generally happier in myself I still have some shit moments and days, but I don’t seem to get as overwhelmed. It does of course depend on what is happening that day. I keep myself busy and work is always a good distraction for me. But I have been thinking lately if some of my friends feel pushed away? I never meant to do that, I don’t mean to isolate myself at all. I have felt at times that I wasn’t a good person to be around and I have probably distanced myself with knowing. If you are reading this and you feel I have pushed away, believe me it was intentional at all.

Do you have somewhere you like to go when you feel overwhelmed? For me it’s the cemetery, I visit Alex. I will sit with him and feel the sun on my face and the wind in my hair and I’ll allow myself to be with my thoughts. It’s often quiet there and a good place to think and reflect.

So I think I’m done, I’ve put my thoughts out there. Thanks for reading.

Mummy Guilt

My first article for AskingMums went live on Monday 12th October

Check it out, if you haven’t Mummy Guilt

 

The Month of August

For me August will always be a month to remember. Firstly August 2008, this was the month I packed up my belongings and moved from Palmerston North to New Plymouth. I was nearing the end of my Nursing degree and I was moving to be with, my now hubby and to begin my final nursing placement. So today, the 25th August marks seven years since I made that move. One of the best moves I ever made. It resulted in me being able to live with the man I love and to get my first nursing job on the ward, where I did my final nursing placement.

I also subconsciously revisit August 2011, the 23rd was the due date of Alex. Of course I never carried him to this month as he passed away at the end of May 2011. The first year was extremely hard, I grieved all over again when we reached that date. I was heartbroken, all I wanted to be doing was complain about being overdue or being sleep deprived from a newborn. I dreaded his due date, but as soon as it had passed I was gutted it had gone. His time was officially over. I think the due date for every bereaved parent is different, you have to do what you feel is right for you. Of course I don’t feel the same about the due date as I did then, but to me it will be date I will always acknowledge to myself.

Ready for work

Happy Kids

The hubby and I escaped to Auckland for a few days, we both felt we had to had getaway and make the due date seem significant. The highlights of our trip was winning $250 in the casino, using Alex’s birth weight, time and date he was born were just some of the numbers that came up on the roulette. Our winnings were used to splash out by treating ourselves to dinner in the revolving restaurant. Getting away for a few days was definitely good for us. We ate out, went to the movies and did a bit of shopping. The distraction of something positive was definitely something we both needed.

Wedding November 2010

Wedding 2010

November 2011 Giants Causeway, N Ireland

August this year 2015, if I’m being honest has been the pits. I was just recovering from surgery and BAM! I took a massive dive on the depression roller coaster. I am slowly on the up, but I’ve been hit with another cold so I’m a tad frustrated. I had been fighting and willing the recent return of the fog to bugger off and I was beginning to feel like myself again. I went to work on Sunday which was really good. All my work colleagues who I worked with were really supportive and were happy to see me back. I’m now sick on my days off which is annoying, I had plans which I have to cancel, yet again.
I had an outburst this morning, I thought I had seen the back of those. I made a frantic call to the crisis team asking for help, I just needed someone to talk too. My hubby is great, but he is struggling. He would never say it, but I know he is. Mr Happy has been a challenge at bedtime lately, ie not wanting to sleep. So my hubby has been up with him and letting me sleep. He feels I don’t appreciate him at times but I do, I really do. He is my rock, my best friend, my special someone and an amazing Dad to our children. For those of you who are reading this and know my hubby, you may think he is tough and can cope (yes someone said this to me recently). But he is a human being who at times needs support, he may not say it but August has been a tough month for him while I have been recovering.

I want to end of a positive note, I have shared more than I intended. Once again when I get writing the words just flow……. The beginning of August has seen us living in our current home, our first home for four years. This is the longest I have lived in one house, apart from my parents house of course. We have lived in this house as a couple, a family of three and now a family of four. We are definitely outgrowing our home, but it’s our home. Now bring on September!

Seeing clearly through the fog

Ahhhh the sun is shining again today, and I’m smiling. The fog is definitely clearing, I can now see through it, I can see through the darkness. Each morning this week I have wanted to get out of a bed, its such a nice feeling compared to the past few weeks.

I even ventured out to town at the beginning of the week and did some jobs and a bit of shopping I needed to do. Whilst I was browsing in a shop did see someone I knew. I’ll admit it, I hid. I didn’t want anyone to see me or talk to me. It has been easy for me to put my thoughts and feelings into words but saying them aloud is not always the same. I was quite happy just looking around and wanted to be left alone with my own thoughts. I found it quite a challenge talking to the sales assistants when buying things, but it had to be done. When I got home, I felt relieved, I was home, I had survived and I had done the jobs I needed to do.

I caught up with my GP this week, we had a good chat. I shed a few tears when he brought up a particular issue and we both decided to keep me on the increased dosage of my antidepressants for now. After leaving the Doctor’s I went to visit a friend. She is someone I haven’t spent a lot of time with, but it was just what I needed. Someone else who knew how I had been feeling. That is the one of the big positives I have gotten from my recent experience living with the fog, I have made connections with a few new people via blogs and locally. Being honest and sharing my journey has definitely paid off. Hopefully here’s the start to some new friendships.

Little Miss

Playing Duplo with Little Miss

As the week has progressed I feel I have become stronger and even enjoyed doing some household tasks. I had plans to cook tea for us one night, but I knew I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to do so. I told my hubby I was feeling overwhelmed and thankfully, he got it. He stepped up and prepared us a meal. He is awesome!

One of the best things about the clearing fog is being able to enjoy Little Miss and Mr Happy again. I feel I have been able to rebuild my relationship with them and just having more patience to listen to Little Miss talk non-stop, makes me smile. As well as seeing what a cool little boy Mr Happy is becoming.

Mr Happy before haircut

Mr Happy before haircut

I spent one day this week with Mr Happy at home, we had a good day. I even took him for his first haircut. I had been putting it off, I just didn’t feels ready to cut my baby’s hair. But he isn’t so much a baby anymore, he’s 16 months old. He did really well, he sat on my knee for half an hour. He moved his head every now and again to check out what the hairdresser was doing, but no tears or tantrums, victory! I feel he needed more hair cut off, but after half an hour he had enough. The IPad was very good for distracting him, and of course I took him a treat. I just can’t believe how much hair he still has!

Post haircut

Post haircut

I also successfully took Little Miss and Mr Happy to music group, which was really good since we didn’t make it last week. Little Miss got to see one of her friends and Mr Happy cruised around the whole time. I also find it a bit of break, I get to socialise with other adults, the kids get to play with others and they provide yummy morning tea!

I am returning to work on Sunday morning and I feel ready. My work mates are lovely and supportive so I know I’ll be fine. Plus I know I am feeling brighter because I don’t want to hide away anymore, I want to see people and be me, Stacey.

Questions to ask before giving up

Through my recent experience with the ‘fog’ I discovered this blog. A wonderful Mum sharing her journey with PND. I felt this blog post was worth sharing. And if fog returns I can hopefully use this to help through some of those dark days.

the PND diaries

So, I  have had an extremely difficult week. My counsellor gave me this sheet of paper in an effort to help me not give up. Today I am working through the list as well as a heap of different grounding techniques to try and pull myself out of the fog since my husband (main support) is away.

I thought i would share in the hope it could also help someone out also x

View original post

Breathing a sigh of relief

I woke this morning, and I actually wanted to get up. I did think about rolling over and closing my eyes but I thought to myself ‘I’ll get up and have a cup of tea”. And I actually made Mr Happy his porridge, something I haven’t done for quite a few weeks and I felt proud I accomplished this task. It may sound a small task, but to me it was huge.

See that’s one of the things about depression, carrying out and finishing a task no matter how big or small is actually impossible. For the past few weeks, for many days I have had to force myself to do things we manage to do nearly everyday. Plus, my appetite has been non existent, and when I have eaten I probably haven’t eaten the best foods. But who cares? Its food right? I know that eating well is fundamental to helping with depression, but I struggle to make something nutritious when I have hardly any energy, motivation or an appetite. And the thought of going out feels me with dread. Plus I often say to myself ‘be kind to yourself, you are doing the best you can”.

16/8/2015

Little Miss

Mr Happy 16 months

I also know it is important to get out for a walk, exercise in fresh air is great for boosting a mood, but yet again it was something else that I struggled with. I did get out for a walk with a friend one morning last week which was good. I was really proud of myself for doing it and making the effort. My hubby phoned when I got home and asked if I wanted to meet him in town for lunch. It was a lovely thought, but I had already wanted to turn the car round when driving to meet my friend as the anxiety was kicking in. I was now home and I wanted to stay. I felt secure and safe. He of course understood, he just wanted to check in and see how I was doing.

I have made a few plans for this week, which is good for me. And I am even preparing to be home with Mr Happy all by myself one day this week. To me this will be a big day, which is strange as this was something that would happen quite often. I’m so desperate to have a relationship with Mr Happy again and of course Little Miss. I’m hoping we will have a good day together and if everything doesn’t go as planned, I can call my hubby at work for support.

Found on cardstore.com

littlebylittle by anothernicole on Flickr

As I am starting to see a glimpse of light through the fog, I can breathe a sigh of relief and know that things will get better. I’m looking forward to being Stacey again, a Mum who wants to spend time with her children and be a wife. It will also be good to enjoy doing the things that make me, and to actually go outside and see people again. Thinking of this brings me hope and a smile to my face.

 

 

Living with the fog

I started writing a blog post at the beginning of this week and I had every intention of posting it. I still will, just not today.

Instead I am taking to my blog to write about my week. This week has been AWFUL. I thought last week was rough, but, no. This week has actually been worse.

I felt a lot calmer on Friday and over the weekend. I then woke Monday morning feeling like I had really hit rock bottom. Every morning I have woken this week and just want to roll over and go back to sleep, I don’t want to see anyone and certainly don’t want to talk to anyone. I can hear my husband and the kids having breakfast and I feel, guilty. Guilty I am not up, making the breakfast, chatting to my hubby and the kids and thinking about what to do with my day. Instead I am dragging myself out of bed, desperate for a cup of tea and to take my antidepressants. Anything to just make me feel like Stacey. Each morning this week I have made the effort to help my hubby with the kids, mainly making their lunches and tying up Little Miss’ hair. I breathe a huge sigh of relief when they all leave, it’s quiet, I can slob around in my pjs and drink tea.

Mr Happy

Little Miss

I absolutely HATE feeling like this. When did everything go so wrong? Why can’t I be like I was a month ago? I desperately want to ENJOY my kids, but I don’t. Instead I’m wishing they would be quiet and leave me alone. Little Miss is so caring and happy to see to see me, I give her a cuddle hoping it will help. She tells me “Mummy, you’re the best” and asks me what’s wrong? I reply with “Mummy is sad and needs hugs”. I have no idea how to explain how I really feel to my three year old.

Mr Happy will look at me and smile but he favours my hubby for everything he needs. The rational part of my brain is trying to tell me it’s just because I haven’t been able to pick him up post surgery , but the emotional part is taking over and saying he doesn’t need you, he doesn’t like you, you are a rubbish Mum. The emotional part of my brain is winning.

Image from SupportGroups.com

This fog is horrible, it’s robbing me of my sleep, appetite, being a parent, a wife, a friend and ability to work. There are things I need to buy, want to do with the kids but my usual enjoyment for shopping and motivation for life has deserted me.

The past few days all I have wanted to do is sit around in my pj’s all day, but a friend visited yesterday afternoon and I went for a walk with another friend this morning. Thank you ladies, because of your visit and encouraging me to get out, I have showered and dressed even though I didn’t want too.

I’m hoping when I wake tomorrow I can begin to see the fog starting to clear, I’m desperate to be who I was.

Image from Pinterest

Me and the Fog

When you hear the word depression, who or what do you think of? Someone you know? Do you have it yourself? Or do you tend to ignore it, because it makes you feel uncomfortable? When I hear the word depression, I think of myself. I’m Stacey, 34 years old, I am married and a mother to three children. I’m fortunate to watch two of them grow and the other watches over us.

I faced my depression at the beginning of this year, I knew I was on a downward spiral, the fog was closing in and I could not stop it. Waking up most mornings with that awful dread, “do I really have to get up”? I just wanted to lie in bed all day and hide from the world, but I had to get up, after all I have two children to care for. The days were hard and long being stuck at home with two under three, but it was my choice to have these kiddies. “Why didnt you take them out” you might be thinking. The thought of going anywhere, terrified me. I didn’t have the energy or the patience to deal with them and the thought of getting organised to go out, filled me with dread. Each weekend when my hubby was home, I would say to myself “right on Monday, I’m going to take them to the park across the road”, BUT, Monday would come around and I just couldn’t face it.

Love these kids

Happy Kids

Those days were, The. Worst. I hated that I was not really wanting to be a parent and interact with my kids. I would tell myself I would feel better tomorrow, but tomorrow would come and I felt exactly the same. Bedtime was just as hard as the morings. I was so, so tired, mentally and physically, I just wanted to sleep but I couldn’t get off to sleep. Plus I knew as soon as I went to sleep, the morning would soon come. I just wanted this vicious cycle to end.

I sought help from my counsellor again. Seeing her was usually enough to help me see through the fog that would be constantly blurring my vision and felt like a heavy weight, weighing my down. It helped to see my counsellor, but it wasn’t enough. I still continued to feel overwhelmed, anxious and negative thoughts were still there, full force. I made an appointment to see my GP, I had been putting it off for a while, maybe even years. I didn’t want to admit I needed antidepressants to give me my life back. My GP was fantastic, he and my counsellor both agreed there was a time and a place for medication and this was the time.

To be begin with some of the side effects of the antidepressant was not much fun, I felt worse. I was told I would feel worse before I got better and that was the truth. I was so fortunate my Mum was able to travel from England and visit us for a few weeks in February, she ‘got it’. She was there when I needed to talk, cry, vent and above all she was there for the kids. Plus it took pressure off my hubby, because he really has seen the BAD times and I think my Mum was great support for him too.

Fast forward to now, Friday 7th August. I’m currently off work after my surgery to have my appendix removed. I’m out of my usual routine, unable to work, and most importantly I feel I am unable to be a Mum to my children. I don’t know where it came from but on Wednesday I, well you could say, I lost it. The fog had slowly been returning and now it was back. I ended up ringing the Mental Health Crisis team, I needed someone, anyone to listen. I wanted to quit my role as a wife and a mother and to run away. Yesterday (Thursday) I had a visit from the mental health team. The two guys that came to the house suggested I needed to increase my medication, I was hesitant but knew it was the best decision. Thankfully I had a counsellor appointment which was already booked. My hubby came with me which I felt was really beneficial for both of us. I left the appointment feeling a lot calmer and the fog was starting to clear. I will be better, I will not let this illness beat me.

Found on weheartit.com

Taking an antidepressant has saved me from the dark days and I feel it has given me back my life. I still have the odd times when I feel the fog is closing in but they do help. I know there are some people out there, who may be reading this that do not believe in medications. That’s fine, I believe you have to do whatever works for you. For years I resisted medication, thinking it wasn’t right and it wasn’t for me. I did not make the decision lightly. Looking back I have had depression on/off throughout my life and it is in my family. We only have this life and we need to do what is best for us and our family, our kids.

Depression is an illness, not a low mood. The experience of depression is different for everyone. Support is essential to help anyone through their journey. The Depression Website is a great source for anyone who is struggling and has information to help others help you.

Images courtesy of Pinterest